IF YOU FEEL YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THE MOTF THEN YOU ALREADY ARE!-Pete Perry 1969

MOTF THOUGHTS: Nothing is Owned - even our lives are merely on loan to us... Pete & Nikki 2009

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Nikki Has Her Say

DON'T BUY CLOTHES AT SAINSBURYS!

I went to try on some trousers in the toilets at Sainsbury's at Corey's Mill, Stevenage, and the alarm went off!  I did not want to get into any trouble with the security there, so I went over to ask the lady at the Customer Services desk how I could try on this pair of trousers as there were no changing/fitting rooms anywhere. 

She said to me, rather sternly and bluntly that I couldn't! 

They were toilets and NOT changing rooms, and if I want the items, I ought to purchase them and keep the receipt, then bring them back if they don't fit!  'It's that simple.  It's a supermarket NOT a clothes shop! 

'It stops any shoplifters from trying to steal clothes'. She looked at me as though that's exactly what I was trying to do!  

To this very abrupt outburst, I just said, 'right, thanks, I will be putting them back then, and shop elsewhere!' 

She said sorry, but that's the company policy, 'I can't change the rules, can I?!' 

I was totally gobsmacked by her response, and completely insulted. 

I will not be purchasing my clothes from this shop ever again.  They have lost my custom!

IF A SHOP SELLS CLOTHES, THEY SHOULD PROVIDE CHANGING ROOMS - LIKE ASDA AND TESCO!

LOVE & PEACE
NIKKI  

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JOKER ROY STRIKES AGAIN!

Our intrepid pair, Pete & Nikki were caught out again by The Family Joker, ROY AITKIN.

When they returned from their Amazing Blackpool Adventures, they checked their mail to find an envelope, apparently stuffed with £20 notes!

WOW!!! Who could be this secret benefactor be,  who had donated so generously to the Pete & Nikki Adventure Fund?

Well, it turned out that what appeared to be a wad of £20 notes was, in fact, paper serviettes printed with £20 note designs!

ROY THE JOKER HAD STRUCK AGAIN!!!

(For a reminder of past pranks, read below!)

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PETE & NIKKI GET APRIL FOOLED!

Pete & Nikki were mystified when they got a phone call from Tesco Direct at 7.45am on Sunday April 1st this year.

'Please would you confirm your home delivery this morning?' The lady on the phone asked.

'Parden?' Asked a shocked Pete, 'what is it for?'

'One Brussel sprout,' The lady informed him with a giggle.. 

It then occurred to Pete that it was All Fools day, and suspected either his daughter Deborah, or his old friend Roy Aitkin.

'OK,' Pete agreed sportily, 'This must be an April Fool's prank. What time will it be delivered?'

'About 9.30am,' The lady laughed, 'If you are not in, we can put it through the letterbox!

Ai just after 9.30 am, there was a knock at the door, and the one brussell sprout was delivered!

Pete had to sign for it, and discovered that the sprout itself cost 6p, but the delivery charge was £3.90, - and it was from MOTF Prankster ROY AITKIN (pictured right), also known by his 'Family' name of 'The Pied Piper of Stevenage'.!

BRILLIANT ROY!

THIS WAS THE BEST APRIL FOOLS TRICK SO FAR.

Have YOU had any pranks pulled on you?

CONTACT US!

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IS IT TIME TO START CULLING HUMANS?
By Pete & Nikki

RIGHT! Now that we've got your attention, let's get down to brass tacks....

By strange coincidence, (as often happens with this website) - following our recent debate concerning wild deer in Stevenage, Scientists have come up with a plan to cull the wild deer population of the UK by possibly as much as half, - as they are upsetting our way of life!

Well now, - excuse us? Are Human Beings the only creatures on this planet who have the right to exclude all other forms of life that interfere with our own, very dubious, lifestyle?

Previously on this planet, we have had calls to cull badgers, because they are said to infect cattle with TB, and then there was a call to cull urban foxes, because of a very rare attack on a child.

Now, Scientists are telling us that we should be culling deer (particularly Roe and Muntjac deer) because they eat our field crops, invade our gardens, and dare to run out into roads, causing accidents.

Of course, this wouldn't have anything to do with the recent horsemeat scandal, would it? I mean, - if there's not enough BEEF in the country, - FEED THEM VENISON!

Well, excuse us, - but did we ask the deer if it was OK to build houses, gardens and roads on the natural land that they have been using for thousands of years?

So back to our headline - IS IT TIME TO START CULLING HUMANS?

Yes, we know a few people may be offended by the idea, - even though governments have been culling working class people for centuries..

(They call it WAR!)

So is it any less tasteful that calling for a cull on other animals? 

Why should we control other creatures on this planet, when, clearly, the world population of humans is way out of control?

IT'S A THOUGHT! 

Pete & Nikki

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FAREWELL TO THE MAN WITH A GLINT IN HIS EYE AND A CHILD IN HIS HEART!

 By Pete Perry

He also contributed to The Beatles' film, 'Yellow Submarine'.

I first met Bob way back in 1955, when he was just starting out. Myself and my friends derek Soall and Cyril Smith were starting with 'Filmart Studios' at about the same time, so we were friendly rivals!

Sadly, our technical man, Derek Soall, (pictured right at the camera rostrum) died at the age of 23, and Cyril and I, being the animators for our cartoon studio, gave up. But my friendship with Bob continued.

Indeed, in 2003, we discussed turning my children's book, 'Tales of Widgeripoo' into a TV series, until Bob's health began to fail.

He loved my characters The Wotwozzee and The Uncontrollable Habits!

I shall miss him dearly, for he was the man who always had a twinkle in his eye and a child in his heart.

God Bless you Bob

Pete 

For more on Pete, Derek, Cyril and Filmart Studios

CLICK HERE

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SELL YOUR STORY FOR CASH!!!

ON THE RIGHT TRACK...

 By Pete & Nikki

As the row rumbles on regarding the High-speed Rail Link between the North and The South, - we continue to wonder why the powers-that-be won't even consider the simplest, most straightforward, Environmentally-friendly option to the HS2, that we have been championing since we got together in 2003, and which Pete has been recommending since the Sixties -

THE MONORAIL!

 Instead of digging under London, and destroying acres of beautiful British Countryside at an estimated cost of £32 Billion, - they could run a straight monorail system from London and build it on concrete pillars ABOVE the Cities and the countryside with much less impact upon the environment.

Not only would those concrete pillars cause less damage to the countryside and built-up areas, - but the system that propels them - alternating electro-magnetisam, - is just about the most environmentally-friendly system of energy and propulsion that there is!

As you can see from our photographs from all over the world, Monorails can go anywhere, - across the countryside, above forests, across rivers and lakes, - and even across cities and above motorways - WHAT COULD BE BETTER?

For some reason, many people think that monorails are simply novelties, - probably because they have seen them at Disneyland and other theme parks, - but the truth is that they are highly viable and efficient forms of transport, that are in full, everyday service all across the world-

SO WE THINK THAT THE GOVERNMENT MUST BE OFF THE RAILS NOT TO CONSIDER THIS OPTION...

Love & Peace

Pete & Nikki

What do YOU think? We'd especially like to hear from our friends in Japan, Canada, etc, where Monorails are in frequent use...

Email us at pete@widgeripoo.net 

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NIKKI & PETE'S PARIS ADVENTURE!

CLICK HERE 

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Widgeripooers & Switchboarders...

HAVE YOU GOT AN INTERESTING STORY TO TELL?

When MOTF Switchboard finally came to an end, Entrepreneur MARTIN RANDALL took up the cause to turn the magazine into a glossy mag. ALAS! Our regular readers preferred the old-style Switchboard, and production ceased after only one issue, which was published in November 1988 (see picture on left)...

In that issue, we reported on the first ever Fairlands gig, the forerunner of 'Rock In The Park', featuring, amongst others, Roony Rickshaw, Columbia, Underground, The Egg & Bacon Band, and Jack's Reference Band, and I, personally, had an interview with the legend that is Norman Wisdom, who had been appearing at The Gordon Craig Theatre in Stevenage.

At the time, I had a colourtransparency film in the camera, as I had been photographing plants for 'Garden News', and unfortunately, they proved useless for reproduction in the new-style Switchboard magazine, apart from the full-colour front cover, which featured an 'arty-farty' shot of Columbia.

So, until now, the colour slides have been gathering dust in my files. Coincidentally, at a time when we are paying tribute to Jon Ridley, co-founder of Switchboard magazine, we have had access to a colour slide scanner, and have been able to bring those old photographs back to their former glory.

So here we are, after 30 years, - the 'missing' photographs of Norman Wisdom in The Green Room of The Gordon Craig Theatre with my son Michael, at the age of Ten...

Along with pictures of Roony Rickshaw andUnderground...

Above: Norman Wisdom clowning around with a copy of 'Switchboard', and with Pete's son Michael.

Below: Colin 'Frenchie' French making faces at the camera with 'Underground', and Roony Rickshaw with adoring fans...

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